Thursday, November 11, 2010

Fragments and Run-Ons

Take a look at these three sentences and then answer the poll questions along the side of the blog.

1) Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War for them these films were not antiwar in fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

2) In his speech "Beyond Vietnam," King critiques not only U.S. policy in that war, but also the ideologies of materialism and militarism that he says will put the U.S. "on the wrong side of a world revolution."

3) As Appy shows, even though the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers, with many different ideologies and with many different reasons for joining the army.

Then fix the sentences that need fixing in the comments.

19 comments:

  1. In Jarhead,a book by Anthony Swafford, Swafford describes watching films about the Vietnam war with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq. He feels that for them the films were not anti-war, but rather they made them more eager to fight.

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  2. Appy points out that although the U.S. army during the Iraq war were all volunteers, they all had differing ideologies and reasons for joining.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines,before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War. For them these films were not aniwar in fact they made them eager to go and fight.

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  5. 1)Anthony Swafford - in his book Jarhead - says that after having watched films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines, before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War, they appeared to them for not being antiwar. In fact, they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.
    2) In his speech "Beyond Vietnam" - King critiques not only U.S. policy in that war, but also the ideologies of materialism and militarism. He anticipates that this will put the U.S. "on the wrong side of a world revolution."
    3) Appy argues that the U.S. army soldiers during the Iraq War were all volunteers. All of them had different ideologies and many different reasons for joining the army.

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  6. 2) In his speech "Beyond Vietnam," King critiques not only U.S. policy in that war, but also the ideologies of materialism and militarism that he says will put the U.S. "on the wrong side of a world revolution."

    i would change it from a quote to a sentence and switch around some of the words if this was the second time it was used in a essay but if it was the first time it would be used i would keep the title but phase it differently into "in the speech by dr.king from the story "beyond vietnam" then continue with the sentence.

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  7. 1) Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines, before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War. For them these films were not antiwar in fact, they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

    3) As Appy shows,the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers, with many different ideologies and with many different reasons for joining the army

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  8. 1) Sawford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War, but for them these films were not antiwar. In fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

    3) In his essay “Class Wars” author Christian Appy shows, even though the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers, with many different ideologies and with many different reasons for joining. US soldiers are in the majority of the lower class.

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  9. "Jarhead", by Anthony Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq. Swofford depicts how these films were not anti-war,in fact it made it more eager for them to go and engage in war.

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  10. 1)Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines, for them these films were not antiwar in fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.
    3)Appy shows the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers, They each have many different ideologies and many different reasons for joining the army.

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  11. Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq during the first Gulf War;For them these films were not antiwar in fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

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  12. 1) Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines before leaving for Iraq. During the first Gulf War, for them these films were not antiwar in fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

    3) As Appy shows, even though the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers, with many different ideologies and with many different reasons for joining the army, others went against their will.

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  13. @ Sweets: two good sentences.
    @ Miriam: The first sentence of the revised version is great. The second is still a run on.
    @ Tashibay - Two great corrections.
    @ Muhammad: #1: The first sentence of the revised version is great. The second is still a run on. #3: still a fragment.
    @ Raphael: #1: great correction
    #3 -moving to something good, but the first is still a fragment.

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  14. @ Sophia - #1 is still a run-on. #3: now a run-on.
    @Nyashia: First sentence is great; the second is still a run-on.
    @ Johnny - don't capitalize after a semi-colon.
    @Ivette - #3 is great. #1 has one correct sentence and one run-on.

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  15. In the book “Jarhead” Anthony Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines ,Before leaving for Iraq. During the first Gulf War for them these films were not anti-war in fact they made them more eager to have the opportunity to go and fight.

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  16. 1)The novel "Jarhead" by Swofford describes watching films about the Vietnam War with his fellow marines. He explains for them that these films didn't come across as antiwar, but instead made them eager to fight.
    3) Appy's points out the U.S. army during the Iraq War are all volunteers. They each have many different ideologies and many different reasons for joining the army.

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  17. @ Sophia - Two great corrections!

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  18. Before departing to Iraq during the gulf war, Swofford and fellow marines felt the Vietnam films watched were anti-war, therefore making them more eager to fight.

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  19. @ Melissa - Hmmm . . your sentences is grammatically correct, but does it make sense? Look again.

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